Being there

Our Thailand team watched a good movie at our last meeting called “Born into Brothels”. It follows a photographer, Zana Briski, into the red light district of Calcutta. She became friends with the women that prostitute themselves there and especially their children. Naturally, she moves from photographer to social worker as she is touched by the lives of these children. She tries to help them get into school, gives them cameras and photography lessons herself and ends up being a catalyst for change in a few of them.

Haughty western wisdom would find fault in this woman’s desire to help these children as best as she can saying something like “well that’s these children’s life and we shouldn’t interfere.” The movie is a great human story though as you see her just have to try something...anything.

The pictures of these children reminded me of pictures I took this past friday down at our 9th Street motels. There has been an unusually high influx of children into this “neighborhood”. Children running around unattended, dirty, ignored and so hungry for healthy attention.

We’ve dreamed a lot about what we could do if one of these motels was ours. How we could use it for transitional housing and programs for the kids. A few weeks ago, we felt a challenge to not wait until it was “ours” but to just act like it’s ours now.

A couple of weeks ago, Jimmy loaded a lawn mower in the van, Mary and Leah bought some sidewalk chalk and bubbles at the dollar store, we took what food we had and spent the afternoon acting like the Shiva motel was ours. The minute we pulled up, a couple of the girls ran toward us waving new Bibles in the air asking us to have a Bible study with them. With the smell of fresh mowed grass in the sunny air, we played, read the Bible and laughed together.

This last week, the owner of the motel gave us permission to plant a community garden in the back of his motel. We also got to take a family of 7 out for a birthday dinner at Chuck E. Cheese. And we have heaps of vision for the future.

Back to the film, one thing that came to me about Ms. Briski is that she wasn’t a missionary, social worker or anything of the sort. She was just there. She noticed and acted. She did not give up, she did not talk herself out of it, she just did something because she was there. Those simple things can go a really long way.

some history

When I was 5, my parents pulled my sister and I aside to let us know about an upcoming move. We lived in Louisville, KY and my Father had accepted a position as the director of all music programs for a small, independent Baptist collage in Wisconsin. We rented out our house, the movers packed the truck and we headed off to pursue my parent’s dream of fusing ministry with their talents to disciple young people on a pastoral Christian campus.

The school was a “live in” collage with men’s and women’s dorms, duplex housing for all the teaching staff families, a lake, a chapel, class rooms, rec hall and a cafeteria all set back in a birch forest 20 minute’s drive from the nearest small town. My friends were all the staff kids. My years on the campus were full of exploring the forests and sand dunes, catching toads, swimming in the lake, riding my bike every where, building forts and trying to figure out girls.

It was a weird, wonderful place to have part of my childhood. During the school’s missionary conference I made the declaration that I would be a missionary whether God called me or not. I made my incremental commitments to Christ at the summer camp put on by the school’s students. I learned about religious control and politics which brought our time at this school to an end.

My Mom and Dad always had people over to our house. There was always some student joining us for dinner. They would throw parties for the kids. Dad formed a touring choir that would travel 2 months out of the year to promote the school and my folks especially poured into these students. They discipled and supported them, they loved them and created community. They made space even in their “off the clock” time to listen and encourage students. Some of them are missionaries and pastors and still correspond with my Dad.

Horrible accusations came from a jealous staff. We left the school. The dream over, my parent’s hearts broken, we moved back to Kentucky. Back into our old house. Dad taught music in public schools and university and Mom got secretarial work. I was 10.

Dad tells me that long before that, my parents dream was to buy a big house and run a ministry to help street people. But church people discouraged it. Then they sought to minister to young people and that was killed by the “teachers of the law.”

And here I am in Modesto, California. Another day, in another way, I seek to help and encourage street people and young people. My sons are 5 and 10. What will they say when they are 35 reflecting on the time we lived inside a church and Mom and Dad worked with this crazy group called YWAM, chasing a crazy dream? Will they remember that we were faithful? Will they remember our dreams? What will they have to fight through and for? How will this time shape their future?

My Dad was my best man in our wedding. His toast was simple. Glass raised in the very building I now live in he said, quoting a favorite song, “May all who come behind us find us faithful.” Amen.

My week

Just stealing a quick internet minute to blog. Here’s a play by play of my last week...

Monday - Amie and I packed the kids up and took off to see the new IKEA in Sacramento. We had a really fun day together. The boys love to try our every bed they have. They especially liked their new round beds with mosquito nets over them. Very exotic : ) Amie loves every inch of IKEA. Stella loves to be pulled around in a cart under shiny lights so she really had fun too. We’ve taken day trips to IKEA since we discovered them in Canada back in 1994. Even though IKEA is the symbol of mundane life in the movie “Fight Club”, we don’t care, we love it. Oh, and I had a great nap in their lounge.

Tuesday - Jimmy and Aaron and I meet Tuesday morning to plan out the week. So we did. Then we drove to up to the mountains to have a visit with Greg. On the way to Greg’s, I got really sick. Like, evil sick. I slid downhill all day. By the time we got home I had a horrid fever, chills, aches, all of it. I fell asleep around 8:30pm and woke up at 11 with my fever broken and I was out on the track at MJC by 5:30am the next day!

Wednesday - We worked on fundraising for our Thailand trip during the morning. I started my mailing list, Aaron did something on the computer and Jimmy started calling businesses. He secured us an interview on a pretty big christian radio station for 6:30am Friday morning. We delivered food in the afternoon and spoke at a Presbyterian youth group on Wednesday night. Part of the evenings festivities was “Capture the Cabbage” which is like Capture the Flag but with a cabbage cause of St. Patrick’s day. Jimmy and I were pitted against Aaron team-wise and my team won but Aaron says we didn’t on account of a technicality.

Thursday - When our friends, the Coffees, had an extended stay in San Francisco when their baby was born they began to develop friendships with the YWAMers there. Those relationships have been growing and were cemented when we went to help build a wall in their new building they obtained for their training programs. It was great fun to build a wall in a really old building as nothing is square anymore...the floor kinda smiles. I’m glad Jimmy know what he’s doing. Anyhoo, a big bunch of us went in on Thursday to celebrate the grand opening of this new facility. This place that was once a homosexual porn theater is now full of worship, prayer, bible study and missionary training! And our wall did not fall over.

Friday - I had a sickness rebound...and a phone interview at 6:30 am...3 minutes after I woke up. wow. A good afternoon though giving out food to our friends.

Saturday - I worked on Thailand letters (did you get one? cause I could get you one. We need all the help we can get!). We had a Thailand meeting. I was still sick. We ran concessions at a concert to raise money for Thailand. Thailand, Thailand Thailand. We’ll get there but I had to go to bed.

Sunday - Other YWAM friends from “Gleanings for the Hungry” in Sultana came to visit us. They came to New Hope Church and then we did a BBQ on South 9th street for all our homeless friends. It was a great day of outreach and getting to know one another. We prayed with families and played with kids.

Monday - Today. Spent time with the kids. Caught up on some e-mail. Saw “V for Vendetta”. Liked it but wished it was more. Chiropractor. Grocery shopping. Deal or No Deal (our new family favorite) and blogging. So there.

Aware

Not a lot of time for the internet lately. I’ve been very busy and away at a conference and I share a computer with about 800 other people. So what’s been going on...

My family is doing well. Little Stella is still really little...she grows long more than fat but that’s ok. She’s cute and a little crabby cause she’s trying to figure out the whole bowel thing. I don’t know why that’s such a problem for babies. Just let it out! It’s so easy for the rest of us. It’s a little too easy for some of us...and that's it...the precise moment I went too far. : )

My Father, Sister and Nephew came for a visit about 2 weeks ago. It was really good to have them here but bittersweet as my Dad has had a few strokes in the last couple years and they have really affected his behavior. He is inside of himself, quiet, not a lot of light in his eyes. He actually had a small one right before they came and went into the hospital as soon as they got home from his visit. He was released yesterday and is responding well to rehab. Please pray for him.

As soon as they left, Aaron, Jimmy and I were off to a great Youth With A Mission Conference in Chico, CA with all the leaders from the Southwest U.S. We were there for 3 days and had a blast with great teaching, refreshing praise times, good connections with new friends in the mission and restored vision for our work here in Modesto. We hiked a lot too as the YWAM center in Chico is way back in a beautiful canyon (no cell phones or internet for us either). Our first hike, Jimmy was our guide and took us into the wilderness where there was no trail...up a mountainside. We found deer skeletons, Aaron got poison oak (again) and my ankle is recovering nicely.

So I’m facing March a little more aware. Aware that I am in a war that’s fought everyday. God’s enemy would love me to think that it’s not that big a deal. That life is just life and it goes on and if we can make some kind of sense of it that’s good but if not we just exist and that’s all. I can sleepily walk through my days, watch a whole month go by and drowsily wonder where the time went between stuff I had to do to survive. But that mind set is a trap.

The matrix is real and we have to fight everyday to not believe the lies that seem so true right in front of our eyes. Today does matter. There are no “throw away, cut your losses” days. We are not meant to just make it. We are meant to pass from glory to glory. To advance on the darkness that would try and swallow the world around us whole. To brazenly walk into the darkness holding the light in front of us and driving it back.

God calls me today to be real in my relationships, passionate in prayer, diligent in study, determined in discipline, faithful in the small things, watchful for opportunity, obedient in response, harsh in dealing with my own rebellion, full of grace for others, reaching out with good works, strong in the Lord and in the power of HIS might, my mouth full of blessing, my heart full of love, my flesh dead and my spirit alive. He’s given us everything, everything, EVERYTHING we need for life and godliness says the scripture and he’s looking for people that are just crazy enough to believe it.

So let’s stick our feet out. Let’s tell the darkness that we will not move. Let’s lock arms with brothers and sisters, hold the line and start walking forward...forward to share the good news with a neighbor, forward to lend food, kind words and our ear to the poor, forward to support and encourage missionaries around the world, forward to pick a struggling brother or sister up, forward to remembering the elderly and weak, forward to point the way for an aimless young person and forward in awareness for every opportunity God sends our way today.

Sweet Van Goodness

We have had a string of precarious vans to do the work of the our ministry in. The first was Big Whitey...a 1970’s ambulance that had it’s oversized back gutted out for us to fill with bread, furniture...whatever. Whitey died and my father-in-law procured an old van (which still runs) fro a friend.

My father-in-law helps people find things that they need...and sometimes things that they don’t need but we’ll forgive him for that cause I’ve seen him help make the connection between many who have lost everything with just the right things to help start a new life. We used that old van for a while until it had a period of non-driveableness.

Then a local band that had broken up gave us their old tour van. It was gray, kinda beat up but served the job well. They did not clean it up completely so we had quite a job doing that...6 guys on tour with no real...uh...cleaning habits and plenty of...er...other habits. But it got sorta clean. Then the doors wouldn’t stay shut so we put shed hasps on to keep them closed (I’m pretty sure that was illegal) and some seat belts got kinda chewed up.

Then we met some guys named Bob. These Bobs felt God calling them to help us get a van. Last week while putting water in the top of the radiator and having just as much come out the bottom of the radiator it started making a funny, loud noise and then something blew and then it wouldn’t steer correctly and so we called the Bobs. We have a brand new ministry van! It’s the nicest, newest vehicle I’ve ever had and it dropped into our laps through the grace of God and some generous, obedient Bobs!

We got to use it for the first time this week on our Thursday bread run and our Friday trip to the residential motels on 9th Street. It is a dream...AC, comfy seats (15 passenger!), nice radio, diesel fuel, 2001, sweet ride, no carpet (that kinda gets messy when you are taking food out) all insured, registered and just a blessing.

As if it could get better, it does. This week, our good friend Stella who lived with her daughter and grand kids at the Shiva motel in a yucky room with roaches and rats and a horrid landlord that made her pay over $1,000.00 (charging for each child and extra for a microwave and fridge) got out! We have been praying for her to get out for so long! They now live on a nice quiet street in a 3 BEDROOM HOUSE for less than what they paid at that motel. We visited their new house yesterday in our new van and had a great time of basking in God’s goodness to all of us.

The glory is His.

Aaron's back!

Well, Aaron came home this last week and we took him up to a favorite spot to hike in the snow. It wasn't so special to him as he had been in Canada for over a month for a bit of a break. We're realising that street workers generally go a little nuts because there's not much budget or time for vacation and you're constantly dealing with folks in desperate situations. That can tend to get under your emotional skin after a while. That's why Aaron went away and that's why we're going for a hike every now and then...out of the valley and into some clean air. The day turned out to be fun. Jimmy's Car broke down in Sonora and we had it towed back to Modesto and we got to ride in the car up on top of the tow truck! That was fun...we laughed all the way back to the church.

A side note...Jimmy's front wheel siezed up and the car wouldn't come out of 4 wheel drive. The dealership told him that it was a very expensive repair. Jimmy tried to get the wheel to turn himself and it wouldn't budge...he also pulled as hard as he could on the 4 wheel drive shifter and it would not budge. He said a prayer for provision and in the next instant the wheel worked and the 4 wheel drive disengaged and thier car is fine. God is good! I'm glad we didn't think to pray in Sonora, we would have missed that sweet ride!

A few of my favorite things...

C.S. Lewis - I recently read the second book in his science fiction trilogy and wow...what an imagination. It’s good and thought provoking and if you go into it expecting Narnia you soon know you’re wrong. This is Lewis the philosopher and these books read like Plato’s dialogues... philosophy, theology and social commentary all wrapped up in a story of a man’s trip to Venus. It was tough to get through because of the language and the largeness of the ideas but it was enjoyable. I always enjoy Lewis’ tone. He writes like a cool uncle... wistful, thoughtful and not afraid of unconventional ideas that always lead you to the most foundational things after all.

Missionary Stories - I also just finished “Tomorrow You Die”, a YWAM book by Reona Peterson Joly about her trip with a friend to pass out Bibles in communist Albania. The two were caught toward the end of their journey, facing interrogation and fear tactics from authorities. It’s a good story about God’s faithfulness to prepare his people for what he’s called them to do.

I also had the opportunity to see “End Of The Spear” with Amie and a group of friends this past Friday. I would highly recommend seeing it. It is a griping story around the 5 missionaries that were killed in Ecuador by members of a violent tribe they were trying to reach. Told from the perspective of Steve Saint, the son of one of the victims, it is an important story about the power of forgiveness to bring real change.

When a plan comes together - Last Thursday happened like every Thursday. We loaded up our gray, “has seen better days” van with bread and distributed it to families in needy areas of our city. At our last stop, a mother that we have been getting to know and her 4 small children were hanging out around the van toward the end of our time. It was a very cold day (yes, we have them in California). Getting curious, we asked her what she was up to and where she was staying. They had just lost their housing and she had been on the streets with these little kids all day not knowing what to do.

The sun was going down and it was getting colder and threatening to rain. We were on the verge of leaving but I’m so glad we asked her if she had a place. I quickly called the mission while my father-in-law loaded all their bikes in his van and Jimmy and Leah loaded all the kids in our van. The mission didn’t know if they had beds for them but committed to finding some place warm for them for the night. Thank God! I know you can’t win ‘em all but this was a case of the right place, right timing and willing folks to help make a difference to some little kids and their stressed out mom.

Guilty pleasures - I’m really digging reruns of the one season show “Firefly” and I’m a good ways into “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix”. What? You gotta let up sometimes!

The parable of the septic tank

Last week was a mess. Jimmy and I noticed a spot on the church property that was wet and kinda weird. There was a perfect dome of grass with water leaking out one side. When I touched it with my foot, the dome wavered like gelatin or a water bed. Jimmy said, “This is the part in the horror movie when we run...” It smelled clean so we decided it was probably run off from the parking lot cause we’d had a lot of rain lately.

It didn’t go away. Then it started to look gray. With sinking hearts, on monday of last week we decided to check the septic clean outs. Unscrewing one lid we found standing water in one. Unscrewing the next one down, it exploded in a varitable fireworks display of things that are supposed to go down into the septic tank. We couldn’t believe it! Either we had a broken line or the tank was full and overflowing and nobody has been able to locate the tank for quite some time.

We set ourselves to the task though and God met us. Within hours, someone had rented us a little back hoe and brother James from church (who has much back hoe experience) came to help us dig. By late afternoon, James had found the tank and had it completely uncovered, a septic pump truck was called and we had dug around a bit of line that got broken in the process to get it ready for repair. Wisdom, advise and help came to us in many ways to do this huge, messy job that we didn’t now how to do. Jimmy and I spent most of the time down in the trench with wader boots on trying to find any other problems.

We got to the place where we were going to close up the septic line and fill in the hole when it cam to us that we should just see if the line was clear all the way. We stuck a hose in to see if it would flow into the tank and the water just ran back out on us. Jimmy dug down to the point of resistance and wouldn’t you know it, right through our septic line, right where the ooze was a tree root had broken through and caused a clog. We stuck our shovels in and out flowed...er...all the things that should go into the septic tank! AHHHHH!!!

So we dug back and wouldn’t you know that that piece of the pipe came out really easily and evenly...which is bad. It looked like that long ago, when the septic line was laid, no one bothered to GLUE THE PIPES TOGETHER! So we tied it together correctly, filled in the hole and two days later the job was done and everything was flowing again. Yeah!

So what have we learned here kids. To keep a system flowing properly you have to...

1. Maintain it...regularly clean out the gook that could stop you up

2. Guard it...be on watch for outside dangers that want to come in and cause trouble

3. Do it right the first time...the words of my father haunt me and I’m passing them on to my sons, “If you are going to do something, do it right.” Work like there is a future

4. There is wisdom in many councilors...each person that came to help us figure out this puzzle had a piece, not the whole of the solution. I am grateful for it all and I am really grateful that it is done.

War is a Racket

I watched "The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers" on New Year's Day. Past all the fun eye candy of these films lies the heart of a stirring story...the saddness of lost beauty, dealing with change, the short sightedness of mankind, the nature of greed and power and the stuggle of the small against the insurmountable. This is one of my favorite stories and deals with mythic evil turning the machine of war on the innocent. In mythology, struggles are really black and white. Evil is really evil and good is really good. We do not have the privilidge of this kind of perspective in real life.

I got to thinking about this war that we are sleeping through here in the U.S. Why are we there? What have we done? What a mess we've made of things. And we don't even really talk about it anymore. The only protesters we hear are all the freaky fringe people that say really dumb things for sound bytes and supporters care more about economic issues here at home than about the real struggle of two severly different cultures literally clashing with life and death...real death, not movie death, at stake.

Where is the church? Where are our prayers? Do we pray? If we pray, do we only pray for the safety of "our troops"? Do we believe the scriptures that the gospel is for every tribe, tounge and nation? Do we hate Muslims? Is our struggle against flesh and blood? Are we seeking to be understood more than to understand? Are we looking after our own interests and not after the interests of others? Do we really love our enemies? Do we pray for those who persecute us and speak all manner of evil against us? Are we followers of Christ first or Americans first?

Looking around the internet, I came across this quote from Smedley Butler, one of our nations most decorated officers from World War 2. I found it interesting and wanted to share it. Take time to read it and respond...
War Is A Racket

Excerpt from a speech delivered in 1933, by Major General Smedley Butler, USMC.

Smedley Butler

WAR is a racket. It always has been

It is possibly the oldest, easily the most profitable, surely the most vicious. It is the only one international in scope. It is the only one in which the profits are reckoned in dollars and the losses in lives.

A racket is best described, I believe, as something that is not what it seems to the majority of the people. Only a small "inside" group knows what it is about. It is conducted for the benefit of the very few, at the expense of the very many. Out of war a few people make huge fortunes.

In the World War [I] a mere handful garnered the profits of the conflict. At least 21,000 new millionaires and billionaires were made in the United States during the World War. That many admitted their huge blood gains in their income tax returns. How many other war millionaires falsified their tax returns no one knows.

How many of these war millionaires shouldered a rifle? How many of them dug a trench? How many of them knew what it meant to go hungry in a rat-infested dug-out? How many of them spent sleepless, frightened nights, ducking shells and shrapnel and machine gun bullets? How many of them parried a bayonet thrust of an enemy? How many of them were wounded or killed in battle?

Out of war nations acquire additional territory, if they are victorious. They just take it. This newly acquired territory promptly is exploited by the few – the selfsame few who wrung dollars out of blood in the war. The general public shoulders the bill.

And what is this bill?

This bill renders a horrible accounting. Newly placed gravestones. Mangled bodies. Shattered minds. Broken hearts and homes. Economic instability. Depression and all its attendant miseries. Back-breaking taxation for generations and generations.

For a great many years, as a soldier, I had a suspicion that war was a racket; not until I retired to civil life did I fully realize it.

Hodge podge

A hodge podge entry...

With our new baby, there’s not been much time to sit down at the computer. Mama and baby are resting right now, the boys have just gone to bed and I’m stealing a few moments here. We’ve been a little overwhelmed.

Stella has a cleft palate. The doctors say she’s healthy. She’s eating well from the “cleft palate” bottles the hospital gave us and she’s trying to get on a good eating/sleeping schedule. She’s not quite made it...4-6am this morning little miss sunshine decides to wake up! Oh well, we’re doing this like we’re not new to this cause we aren’t...new to this...so we’re going to do it. yeah. Barring a miracle, she’ll need surgery in a few months.

All five Whitlers together with all five Sustars and Aaron went to see “The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe” today. Stella slept the whole time and we all had fun. It’s a good movie and very faithful to the book. It’s almost a scene by scene match. The only thing it lacked was the thing I worried about it lacking. Much of the charm of the books is that C.S. Lewis’ voice is telling it to you. That whimsical style is kinda represented in the professor’s character and Mr. Beaver. But in the beginning of the book, the story doesn’t have much action but it’s ok cause you have this charming way of getting the set up through Lewis’ naration...the movie doesn’t have that. But it was very good and I would heartily recommend it.

I’m thoroughly enjoying the advent season this year. Aaron’s advent meditation in church this week was good. He shared about the joy of owning nothing. How much of our joy is stolen, ironically at this time of year, by the pursuit of material goods. He encouraged us with the joy of being rich in good works and poor in material things. The angels announced Christ’s birth to the shepherds who were living in the fields with good tidings of great joy. Who is living in the fields today that need an announcement of joy?

Delanora lives by the train tracks downtown. She is undernourished, embarrassed of her appearance and has a voice like an angel. She stands in front of the Brenden theater downtown and sings christmas songs. We were able to record her here at the church so that she could have a CD to sell. She’s trying to make money for a bus ticket home for christmas. If she ever needed tidings of comfort and joy, it’s now. Let’s do what we can.

Thoughts from the day after...

The day after Thanksgiving is a holiday for many. People head out to the shopping mall or to the parade to jockey or position. It ‘s the official beginning of the Christmas shopping season (although we’d do well to shop[p throughout the year...not as painful on the wallet. We’ll learn one of these years). I heard on the news yesterday about how people were hurt in fights and overcrowding as the stores opened with their unbeatable deals.

There are many things wrong with the way we live out this season and all we can do is, loosely quoting Ghandi, “Be the change we want to see in the world.” So it’s probably good to not buy things made by corporations that enslave children to make their goods in celebration of Christ’s advent here. Simple handmade gifts are best I guess or “experiential” gifts like gift certificates to local shops and restaurants.

There are a few web sites and stores where you can buy things that help provide a sustainable life for people in the third world. Online stores like global exchange or the YWAMers in Thailand that help former prostitutes learn a trade like making candles and greeting cards to help them start a new life. There are many things we can do (with a little research and preparation) to make this season a little closer to being a “christian” experience.

The day after Thanksgiving, we went back to work as we had a whole van load of bread to deliver. We went to the motels and to the parks. It hit me in a new way that cultural holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas, the way we classically think about them, are just not experienced the way we think of them being experienced by the poor.

Quiet time with family over a nice big meal or sharing presents with each other is a distant dream for so many. More than you think. Many more than you think. For the poor, these things are a major source of stress like no other time of year. These holidays remind them that they are not “normal”. We get desperate calls to the church for turkeys or help with presents as people look for any way to help their kids feel like the rest of us. One couple I talked to yesterday had sandwiches for Thanksgiving dinner, another man had to work, many more did not have anything.

Then there are the “working poor”...the ladies at the checkout at Wal-mart or the grocery store where the day after Thanksgiving is just another day at work. Economics is a funny thing. The Christmas season makes up so much of the corporate yearly profits and these corporations (like Wal-mart and Target) give people jobs...not great jobs mind you but usually just enough to keep them off the streets. I know a grandma that works at Target who lives in a motel and can’t get into a house with her income as she supports a daughter and grandchildren. I know another grandma who works at Wal-mart and lives in “low-income housing” and cannot afford a phone or a car. Wal-mart and Target are all these folks have...so you can’t just say “no discount stores!” without sustainable alternatives. Who is stepping up to this plate?

And here I am in the middle of it all lost in a quagmire of thoughts and “well, but the other side of the coin is...”

The Roman church chose this time of year for the celebration of Christ’s advent not because it’s his birthday but because of the symbolism of the midwinter celebration. The days grow darker and shorter through the Fall, at midwinter that tide turns and the days get lighter and longer until summer. I can go along with that...it was using an existing cultural celebration and infusing it with the gospel...the thing missionaries have done for thousands of years in “pre-christian” cultures. Why not just say “pagan”? Because people from every tribe, tongue and nation will be around the throne praising God.

It is my goal this season as I seek to live a christian life in America with integrity...

To make or buy as close as I can to socially conscious gifts for family and friends.

To remember the poor and encourage my poor friends to not feel like they have to measure up but to be content during the holidays with simpler celebrations.

To support other groups like the local Gospel Mission, Salvation Army and international groups like Compassion International or World Vision or Samaritan’s purse that help the poor feel included in the season.

To be kind and patient on the road, in the stores and with clerks.

To mark the dark days before advent during this holiday by meditating on expecting Christ, my only hope in Christ, joy at Christ’s appearance and the love that Christ has shed on my life. To celebrate Christ as the world’s Savior. He has become a light to this gentile. My people did not know God but a way has been made. Thanks be to God.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving day is upon us and I am grateful to my friend Dave Skene who helped me see the importance of Gratitude itself. I am far from having this perspective with me all the time but any relationship with God must begin with gratitude. It’s our initial touch point with understanding our lives in relation to the divine. God is and he is good. He gave everyone life and for that we must be thankful. It’s something that we could not give ourselves. Even if our life is a train wreck, even if bad things happen...we’re still alive, we still have a chance, we cannot give this to ourselves. We can waste the gift, squander it, be ungrateful for it, complain about it, despair over it but through it all there is still the chance...the option to live it gratefully.

Of course, negative experience will come. We cannot be “happy” all the time. But where am I miserable? Where am I not content? Where am I impatient? Where am I not kind? Where have I lost sight? It is in those places that I am not grateful, that I am not remembering the most basic gift given to me...my life. If all else fades, today...while it is still called today...I have the greatest gift I could ever have, another chance.

And so much more...

Pardon for sin
A peace that endureth
Thine own dear Presence to cheer and to guide
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow
Blessings all mine with ten-thousand beside

“Enter in His gates with thanksgiving...”

Rest

I had almost forgotten that it's not bad to take a break. To let up for a little while. Aaron mentioned going for an extended stay home this Christmas holiday as none of us have really taken a rest from our responsibilities at the the church for a while. You can rest physically and then there's the "all the way" rest. To get away. That's what this week has been for us. I'm so thankful to my family that opened up their home here in Oregon so that we could have a cheap, fun, restful vacation. What's funny is that we've done quite a bit. So far I've...

Seen 3 movies
Been late to my niece's concert (because of traffic) but the evening was salvaged at a nice gelato/esspresso shop
Read a 734 pg. book
Been for walks with my pipe
Had great talks...even a nice debate.
Went to the Oregon museum of Science and Industry
Impulsively went to a Geoff Moore/PHIL KEAGGY! concert (awesome! Phil Keaggy is from space.)
Had the best Indian food of my life...Chicken Vindaloo. Oh my Gosh...it has changed my life.
Journaled, studied and gotten farther on a personal product
Had Burgerville twice...mmm...Tillimook Cheesburger and sweet potato fries
Had some great time with family

This is the kind of rest that has sunk down into my bones and gives me new perspective for my responsibilities at home. I'm a grateful man.

Fast and Pray

I’m not impressed with the streets or “street life” anymore. Created long ago, way under those streets is God’s good earth. It was there first. The “street” is a facade and I will no longer be impressed with it’s culture, menace or power. It is false.

Too many of my friends are under the sway of the “streets”. They feel there is no escape. They feel powerless to get up out of it’s grasp on their lives and I am sick of it.

Isaiah wept this week, so overcome with grief over his life. He doesn’t know why he can’t just get up out of the park and get over it. But it is too overwhelming for him to imagine something else for his life. He wants to change and is scared to death of change. “This ain’t me” he says, “I know what I need to do but I can’t seem to do it.”

Pearl used to be involved in the life and outreach of a church. She’s hooked on drugs and prostitutes herself on 9th street. She says getting to where she is now was one little step at a time and doesn’t see the way back. We offered her our help but fear and addiction keep her where she is.

Patti has let CPS take her children because of her drug use. She is so far inside herself that it is impossible to get a real human response from her. She cannot stop. She is powerless in her addictions. There are so many layers over her heart that she doesn’t even know who she is anymore. She is Gollum. She is almost a non-being. Her room is filth. She is abused and abuses.

For so long, our attitude toward the poor has been to say, “well, they got themselves into this mess and that’s that...there’s nothing we can do.” Good thing Jesus didn’t say that about us. He didn’t help us problem solve our way out of hell. We can’t pull our bootstraps up that far! HE SET US FREE!

“This kind comes not out but by prayer and fasting.” The words of Jesus. How else do we expect it to work? How can we pray if we do not know? How can we know if we are not there? How can we be there if we do not go?

"The people of the land have practiced oppression and committed robbery, and they have wronged the poor and needy and have oppressed the sojourner without justice. I searched for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand in the gap before Me for the land, so that I would not destroy it; but I found no one.” Ez. 22:29-30

Someone I knew

Rick was one of the first encouragements I had when I came to this valley to reach out. Back in 2001, I had come here to work but felt really alone. The only house we could afford was 30 minutes from the church here. I did work with other people but no one else was full time like me. I wondered why we had come here, what was our purpose?

In the first few weeks of outreach, I met Rick who was severely strung out on crank. Just a “hello” at first and some kind conversation. Then I discovered that he was a Christian who deeply felt conviction for his current lifestyle. He asked me to make him a tape of Christian music. He wept and prayed with me and my brother-in-law. We encouraged him to clean up and go to a recovery house.

When I next saw him, he had done just that and had relief and joy. He was dealing with his problems, working everyday, fellowshiping with believers...the difference was overwhelming. He was at that house for quite a while.

Then the recovery house closed down due to leadership issues and Rick fell off the wagon again. Back to living a homeless lifestyle, we would see him every now and then. He was always kind and friendly. The last time I saw Rick, he came to the bread truck again, broken and weeping and needing prayer and an ear. Aaron, Leah and I prayed with him and once again encouraged him to give recovery another chance. Another house had opened up in the neighborhood and he left us to go to their meeting.

Rick sent me a wonderful message through my Father-in-Law who regularly frequents this house to bring them donated food. He wanted to tell me that he was well and happy. He was right where he needed to be.

Last week, tragedy struck in Ricks family and in his despair he turned to drugs. He overdosed and died. The folks who run the recovery house say there’s no doubt where Rick is right now. Finally free of the addiction he desperately fought, he’s with the Lord and has no worry of where to lay his head down or what he will eat.

I am not responsible for Rick’s successes or failures. I am not the hero of this story. I did precious little but listen with other brothers and sisters and agree in prayer for Rick. I did not know him well. Christ knows Rick though. Through all the turmoil, failure and steps forward and back, Jesus carried Rick and knows him even now. His faithfulness is truly great.

Not a normal day

Just before we set out to give away our big load of bread yesterday, we had a prayer time. After prayer, I like to ask if anyone had felt any specific direction from God. One of the girls working with us said she felt God telling her that it was not going to be a normal day and added that she didn’t quite know what it means.

Typically on bread day, we go to the gospel mission and pick up their leftovers, have some friendly joking around with the guys working there. Then we go to a park in the airport district and distribute to 60 - 100 folks there. After that we go back to the mission to load up again and go to another park in the west side and give it away to about 30 - 50 people.

That’s what happened yesterday. In many ways, it was a normal day. I thought about this later on and wondered about Leah’s impression that is was not going to be a normal day. And I know God spoke to me...

It wasn’t a normal day because I got to meet and talk to Charles, an older gentleman who comes to the bread line. I’ve never spoken to him and he seemed to brighten just by having someone pay attention to him. It wasn’t normal because one of the men working at the mission treated me so kindly that it refreshed my heart. I got to help an elderly (and very cantankerous) lady find the closest thing I could find to a pie. I got to smile and encourage people. The poor, who are usually ignored, looked at with disdain or somehow locked out or expected to jump through hoops, got bread and a dessert for their family without any red tape. Neighbors thought about each other. God was with us all as we were all together.

It was not a normal day. God keeps his promises.

Hard week

No miracles to report. Just the slow daily struggle to progress and see something, even just a little something, be better.

Last week, just two hours after a good friend got out of rehab, he chose “street” life again, not being able to handle the challenge of a changed life. Old habits do die hard. One councilor of mine likened it to water that runs on stone and for years it cuts a path until soon water flows down that path very easily. My friend needs a new stone.

Some kids we’re working with may have been taken from their mother down at the motes this week. Hopefully, CPS will work with us to let us stay in touch with them.

Our physical labor seems to never end. The property here is constantly springing leaks and messes pop up out of no where.

But...

This morning is new and so is God’s mercy. There is good work to my hand to and good friends to do it with. There is provision and good food. There is a baby in my wife’s womb kicking and moving around with life that I could never give. There are two boys still asleep in their beds that make me laugh every day. There is never a lost hope as long as there is breath. The poor still need the dignity of being human. The homeless are my flesh and blood that I cannot turn away from. Healing and reconciliation are possible. Anthelono, a man who we share bread with, helped us start our van yesterday when it seemed we were gonna be stuck down on 9th St. A big youth group committed yesterday to serve our mission as their own and work with us at least once a month to refresh the heart of the poor and forgotten in Modesto. All I have and experience is from a grace too immense for me to understand. All I can do is be thankful.

Cds and Veggies

I had a very productive day yesterday...cleaning, gardening and doing yard work gave me a nice Saturday rhythm. Except for one hiccup. In the middle of all that I decided to check my e-mail and various web interests when I get roped in by a pop-up window with an offer for a free new laptop. The promise was that if I try out just a couple of their promotions that they would give me a new laptop. Now, my brother in law has won a new laptop from the internet and gave it to me so I thought I’d give it a try.

I got lost in the longest survey ever, then I picked a couple of promotions, then they wanted me to do a couple more, then they wanted me to do 6 more! An hour later, I’m fuming and give up. Now I’m enrolled in stuff I didn’t really want to do, my productivity has dropped and I’m all stressed out.

You can’t get something for nothing...unless...

One redeeming moment yesterday happened in our church garden. We had planted cucumbers in one spot and they didn’t seem to take so we pulled up the dying plants and planted zucchini. This we watered like crazy. I was picking zucchini, feeling around for the best one when under the plant I noticed a weird looking zucchini. It was, in fact, a cucumber growing under the zucchini!

God’s order is so beautiful and full of joy! First, you know what you’re going to get. There is no hidden agenda. When you plant squash, you know that’s what’ll come up. And every once in a while there’s a nice surprise like cucumbers under the squash. A wild, wonderful order.

And if anybody wants 12 CD’s for the price of one I know of a good promotion going on. Grrrrr!

Condi? Part Deux

Just as a follow up...At that same visit to the bookstore I checked out the bargin bin. What was in there? A compilation of Keith Green's music coupled with an hour documentary of his life on DVD for $5.77! I got it and this last Tuesday showed the documentary to my youth group.

It's been too long since we've had a voice like his speaking to the church. When I say "like his" I mean, one who not only talks about the works of Christ but does them as well. I told the kids that maybe God doesn't want a big celebrity to be that voice. Keith was uncomfortable with celebrity in the first place. Maybe God wants us to be that voice and live that life.

Keith Green's intense search and passion for God is not some unattainable thing because he was so much holier than us. He was not. He was serious though. Serious about living the gospel, about pouring out his life and going as far as he could in taking the love of Jesus to a dying world.

Where is the musician so passionate about his message that he will just give it away? Where are the people who are willing to live life alongside the hurting and addicted? Who will stop promoting themselves and promote Jesus? Who will work tirelessly to see the church come alive and be what God wants it to be?

It's only gonna be us folks. Keith Green is dead.

Condi?

Why is it that our local. big, christian bookstore does not have “No Compromise”, the biography of Keith Green or “An Arrow Pointing to Heaven”, the biography of Rich Mullins but they do have the biography of Condoleeza Rice? Boo.